Another Friday already here! I hope you have a safe and fun weekend. Enjoy every minute...I'll be at the Olympic Center tomorrow for WSLP's Life Flight benefit "SitDown, SmackDown" - volunteers will sit in all 7,700 seats of the Olympic Center to raise funds for Life Flight. Buy a seat, save a life! http://www.wslpfm.com/ Or send a check to North Country Life Flight, PO Box 994, Saranac Lake, NY 12983.


Fence Repair At The White House

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at The White House in D.C.One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida.They go with a White House Official to examine the fence.The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil."Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900:$400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2700.00."The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys!How did you come up with such a high figure? "The New Jersey contractor whispers back,"$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.""Done!" replies the government official.

I love a good duck joke -A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve ducks here". The duck says, "That's OK, I don't really like duck, anyway. How about a beer?"

Memorial Day 2009

I took my dad to Tupper Lake to visit the graves of loved ones on this Memorial Day. He always has gone to put flowers on the graves on Memorial Day. After a busy weekend at the car show in Plattsburgh, I would have preferred to veg around the house but I knew it was important to him so off we went to buy 4 arrangements for the graves of his mother and father; his two brothers and my mom.

We had a nice trip up to Tupper; a beautiful day for a drive and I was glad we went. It struck me how most of the people I know are now in that cemetery; we laughed at how few live people we had to visit. Not sure why we can laugh about it but we did. We also had a laugh at the cemetery when he took a "tumble" and landed on his back on the ground near one of the headstones. I cautioned him not to lie there too long as the guy with the backhoe would be coming over... Gallows humor I guess.

He said he is getting too old to do the Memorial Day honors (at age 93) and from now on younger ones will have to take over. He has always taken care of his family and doesn't forget those no longer with him. It's a nice thing he does.

We also went to visit his lone living brother (he also has a sister alive in Mass.) and my niece who now lives in his house. We toured the yard (she was mowing) looking at all his beautiful flowers (well... hers now...) especially the multitude of forget-me-nots. I love them and have some growing around my home that I brought home as seeds he picked for me. He was happy to see Tara taking good care of his former home and told her so. He said it looks more like a home now than when he lived there. It was a good trip and he really enjoyed the day.

New Blog to Check Out

In my volunteer work for North Country Life Flight one thing I always strive to do is give them more visibility for the good work they do. I've helped to create a blog for them. Check it out and send me your comments via email. We aren't going to allow comments on that site at this time. But take a look and let me know what you think of it.

http://northcountrylifeflight.blogspot.com/

Memorial Day weekend already! It makes me think of my hero Fred Rogers who always reminded us to take a few minutes to think of someone who made a difference in your life. How happy that person would be to know you are thinking of them. I miss Fred Rogers.

Here's a couple to hopefully give you a smile to start the weekend. Enjoy every minute.

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: “He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

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When Nasa first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, scientists spent a decade and 12 billion dollars to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

For what he says was the first time in his 93 years, my dad enjoyed some Chinese food with us yesterday. I guess it would be the first time for food from a Chinese restaurant as when my mom was alive she used to make a dish of pork chops with Chinese vegetables that would technically be Chinese food.

But I brought home containers of pork fried rice, white rice, beef with broccoli and an order of steamed dumplings and we enjoyed the meal with my dad. He liked it and his first ever fortune cookie read, "You work hard." Boy, that is right on the money. He's on vacation a bit now, but he has worked hard all his life since his first job as janitor of his school at age 8.

I told him next we would try some Greek food. He told me there was a Greek restaurant in Tupper Lake, when he was 18 - way before my time. He never ate their food but would stop in for coffee once in a while.

My dad and I got the garden planted today. It has been over 30 years since I planted a vegetable garden and my dad probably hasn't had one in 15 or so. At age 93 he was out there in the yard this afternoon for almost 2 hours digging and turning over the soil and making the rows to plant our crops.

We planted onions (red & yellow); beans (yellow and green); snow peas; carrots, beets and kohlrobi in two 4 x 8 raised beds. He also prepared a small plot where Coco's doghouse (I sold it - she never went in her fancy log house) used to be - we'll plant cucumbers there. I also have some tomato plants to put out - one in one of the upside down planters!

It is a good year to have a garden. The drought in sunny California is going to mean shortages and high prices. Then there's the economy in general. The brilliant plan for automakers - let's put 200,000 plus people out of work. That should really help. I know I'm cynical but I'm sad to see the auto business country going to hell in a handbasket. I grew up riding in American cars, have always owned them and it's sad to see all these dealerships losing their brands. My husband has worked at a Chevrolet dealership for almost 30 years. We hope for the best.

It's Friday! I hope you have a safe and happy weekend. Do something nice for yourself. Hope we can start the weekend with a laugh...

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?' 'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.....' To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?
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When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the allergists voted to scratch it and thedermatologists advised no rash moves.The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the obstetricians stated they were all laboring under amisconception.The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body", while the pediatricians said,"Grow up!"The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the radiologists could see right through it!The physicians thought it was a bitter pill to swallow; and the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on thematter."The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but theurologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.The anesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas and the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the proctologists left the decision up to some a**hole in administration.

Denise Wright
1946-2009







I gained some insight into my own quirkiness yesterday when I attended my cousin's service.

I walked into the funeral home very sad as I thought of my strong, vibrant cousin who always had a beautiful smile and a twinkle in her eye struck down at age 62 after a horrible year fighting cancer. As I approached the casket with my head bowed, I looked up at Denise who lay there with Grouch Marx glasses, nose and moustache on. She made me laugh. That is what she wanted. These are my people. There was a bowl of glasses for those who wished to don them. Her husband and daughter had them on as well. We celebrated her life. I hope they enjoyed the homemade molasses cake I brought for the gathering afterwards, not quite as much spice as Denise had but I wanted to bring something special for her friends and family.

It's Friday! And boy do I ever need a joke this week. It's been a tough week - one that makes me wish I were a drinker as I would "tie one on." But I'm not so I'll eat some chocolate and take a walk instead. No headache that way and that is good! Hope you like this week's offerings:

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."But there was no answer from his new pet.This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?"This time, a little voice came out of the box,"I heard you the first time!I'm putting on my shoes!"
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A very tired nurse walks into a bank.Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.Preparing to write a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of hispocket and tries to write with it.When he realizes his mistake, he looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, he says: 'Well, that's great....that's just great.... some a**hole's got my pen!'

Big Day Today!

David takes his 1969 Camaro to Bill McBride Chevrolet this afternoon to be in the showroom for the unveiling of the new 2010 Camaro - I hope he buys me one but that won't happen. I'd get killed or locked up within the week if I had one anyway. That would be just too much fun!

I'm off to North Country Life Flight to do a little volunteer work and buy them lunch to say THANK YOU! Four years ago today they flew me from CVPH to Fletcher Allen with a ruptured brain aneurysm. If it weren't for them....

Enjoy every minute!

It's Friday! Joke time - this week I'm a bit disrespectful to law enforcement but after paying my husband's $100 "parking" ticket I might be just a little bitter. I do appreciate the job that our law enforcement professionals do - well other than the dam speed traps - but we all need a laugh so here ya go.
'Hello, is this the State Police?''
Yes What can I do for you?''
I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs , but he's hidin' it there.
''Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, the NYS State Police descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but; find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....
Did the troopers come?''Yeah!''
Did they chop your firewood?''
Yep!
''Happy Birthday, buddy!

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An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden,but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son,Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.They apologized to the old man and left.That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie